chocolate, legos, and sugar
by LXBBandLXlightfan
Summary: a Death note version of the three little pigs. Mello, Near, and L each decide to build a house. Beyond Birthday is the wolf. rated T for death. this is a crackfic. BTW:I don't own anything.


Once upon a time, there were three boys. The oldest one had dark circles under his eyes, messy black hair, and a sugar addiction. His name was L. the next oldest had blond hair, a leather outfit, and a chocolate addiction. His name was Mello. The youngest had snow white hair, pajamas, and liked to play with toys even though he was 16. His name was Near.

One day, the three boys decided to make houses. They had already found three good places to build houses and the places all happened to be on the same path. As they walked down the path, they came across three new stores that had just opened up. One was a chocolate shop, one was a toy store, and one was a bakery/candy shop. L decided to make a house out of sugary stuff, so he decided to go to the bakery/candy shop and buy some stuff to make it out of. Mello thought that it would be epic to make a house out of chocolate, so he went to the chocolate shop to buy chocolate to build his house out of. Near wanted to make his house out of legos, so he went to the toy store to get legos. After everyone was done shopping, they all went and built their houses.

A week after the three boys built their houses, a cute fluffy wolf named Beyond Birthday who had black fur and blood red eyes, decided to take a stroll down the path that was close to their houses. He hadn't walked very far when he came to Mello's house. Beyond was really hungry, because he skipped breakfast and lunch, so he decided to eat the house. He had started to eat the mailbox (which he had covered in jam, even though that was a big mistake because the jam didn't taste so good on chocolate.) when Mello came running out of the house with a gun. "Stop eating my mailbox or I'll blow your head off." Beyond smirked. He had been prepared for this the second he put the jam on the mailbox. He proceeded to pull a flamethrower out of seemingly nowhere. "Drop the gun or I'll melt your mailbox." said Beyond. Mello dropped his gun while grumbling a little bit. Beyond's smirk grew and he said "you know, jam isn't very good with chocolate. I think I'll try something else." Beyond then proceeded to jump on Mello, cover him in jam and eat him.

Sadly, Beyond had forgotten to take into consideration the possibility that Mello might actually taste like chocolate. The result of that was Beyond having to throw up due to the chocolaty tasting blond and jam combo. Luckily though, Beyond only had to throw up once, because his food poisoning wasn't very bad. However, because he had just thrown up everything in his stomach, Beyond was hungry again. He decided to keep walking down the path. Next, He came to the lego house. He decided to knock on the door, cover the person who opened it in jam, and eat them, because he figured that the person who lived in this house would not taste like chocolate and therefore, would not make him sick. He knocked on the door and said "excuse me sir, but I was wondering if you would like a free subscription to Lego magazine." "I already have a subscription, but thanks anyway." Near said from inside the house. Beyond realized that this method probably wasn't going to work, so he grabbed a nearby stick and broke down the wall of the lego house with it. Or at least, that's what he intended to do. He accidentally made the entire house come apart. When Near saw who it was that had destroyed his house, he ran over to one of the only non destroyed corners of the lego house and hid in it. Unfortunately for Near, Beyond was a wolf and could easily track his scent because he was one of the few non plastic things in the house. When Near saw Beyond coming, he started cowering in his little corner. Since Near had his back turned to the approaching predator, he could not see what was happening. He felt gooey stuff being smeared all over him. Beyond was so hungry at this point that he swallowed the poor jam covered boy whole. When Beyond was done, he felt much better. The boy had tasted really good with jam, and Beyond didn't feel sick at all. Beyond decided to keep walking because it was a nice day for a walk. He came to the house made of sugary stuff, where L was having tea with his boyfriend Light, who had come to see his new house. Beyond looked at the house, but he was too full to eat anything else because he had just swallowed a whole 16 year old boy and the author refused to kill off cute fluffy little wolfs that are based off her favorite Death Note character. So, Beyond kept walking.


End file.
